I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I cut my penus on the lid.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize