the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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