Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
