It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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