Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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