dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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