You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
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