My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
