The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize