What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
