Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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