But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize