didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she woke up with a sticky ear
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
