I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
