Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
