I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I cut my penus on the lid.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
