Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
