Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
