Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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