haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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