I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
