yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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