i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
