I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
