Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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