Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
