I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
