i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
