i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
