Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
