it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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