You really coming over, don't trick.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
