Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
