You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
