i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize