You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
