we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
