Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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