on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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