Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
