I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
