I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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