oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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