She said her name was "party"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize