You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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