There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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