Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
