like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
