suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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