okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
