Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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