She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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