She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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