All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
