i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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