operation harelip BJ is a go
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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