Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
