we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize