better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
