grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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