Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
