Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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