Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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