I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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