And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
