Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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