If that was your dad, he is hot
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
