Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
