Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
