I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
