i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
