No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
