She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
