We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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