There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
