He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize