I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
