Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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