Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
